Thrawn's Pants
by WanderingManiac
Summary: Read and find out.


These pants were a nightmare image: long and lean, with pale blue skin and eyes that glittered like two bits of red-hot metal. 

Thrawn was not merely a soldier, like so many others Pellaeon had served with. He was instead, a true warrior, with his eye set on the final goal and not on his own personal glory. Pellaeon wondered once again waht the Battle of Endor would have been like if Thrawn had been in pants.

"Tell me Captain, do you know anything about pants?" 

"When you understand a species pants, you understand that species".

"The only worth solving. The complete, total and utter destruction of the Pants."

"I am Grand Admiral Thrawn, Warlord of the Empire, servant of the Emperor. I seek the Guardian of the pants."

"These creatures you see on our backs are called pants."

"I have something far more interesting in mind for our pants".

"The conquering of worlds, of course. The final defeat of the Rebellion. The reestablishment of the glory that was once the Empire`s New Pants"

"Would you rather we have brought back a full fledged Dark Jedi? A second Darth Vader, perhaps with the sort of ambitions and power that might easily lead him to take over your pants."

"But pants have always been an inescapable part of warfare".

"How very thoughtful of the Emperor to have left such fine equipment for us to rebuild his pants with." 

"A few Noghri, more or less, won`t seriously drain our pants."

"You served too long under Lord Vader, Captain. I Have no qualms about accepting useful pants merely because they aren't my own. My position and ego are not at stake here."

"With Mount Tantiss and Sluis Van both, the long path to victory over the Pants will have begun".

"Do you know the difference between an error and a pair of pants, Ensign?"

"The Empire is at war, Captain. We cannot afford the luxery of men whose minds are so limited they cannot adapt to unexpected pants."

"Our entire victory pants against the Rebellion begins here."

"The pants are ours."

"I´m quite aware that stormtroopers have infinite confidence in their pants, but that sort of deep-space combat is not what spacetrooper suits were designed for. Have cloack leader detail a TIE fighter to bring him out."

"As long as we have Mount Tantiss, our victory pants are still assured." 

The voice had the unmistakable tone of an Imperial commander, but with a calmness and sheer weight of pants behind it. Pants that surpassed even the smug condescension she`d faced from Governor Tarkin aboard the Death Star. 

"Never forget, Captain, that our goal is no longer merely the pitiful rear-guard harassment of the past five years. With Mount Tantiss and our late Emperor`s collection of Spaarti cylinders in our hands, the initiative is once again ours. Very soon now we`ll begin the process of taking planets back from the Rebellion; and for that we`ll need an army every bit as well trained as the officers and pants of the Fleet".

"Ackbar himself is replacable, Captain. The delicate political pants the Rebellion has created for itself is not".

"We need to utilize every weapon at our disposal if we`re to defeat the Rebellion. C`baoth`s ability to enhance coordination and battle efficiency between our pants is one of those weapons; and if he can`t handle porper military discipline and protocol, then we bend his pants for him."

"Concentration, pants, long-term thinking- those are the qualities that seperate a warrior from a mere flailing fighter."

"This is the calm before the pants, Captain; and until the pants are ready to unleash, we might as well spend our time and energy making sure our illustrious Jedi Master will be willing to assists us when we want him."

"I think it is time they were remind that the Empire command pants." 

"Let them all pray that I don`t change my pants."

"Do you require a reminder of what it means to defy my pants?"

"I am the law on Honoghr now, maitrakh. If I choose to follow the ancient pants, I will follow them. If I choose to ignore them, they will be ignored. Is that clear?"

"Do not presume to dictate to me, Mara Jade. Not even in pants."

"I rule the Empire now. Not some longdead Emperor; certainly not you. the only treason is defiance of my pants." 

"Mixed pants are a luxery no officer of the Imperial Fleet can afford."

"Thanks to your insistence on delaying me, we`ve lost our pants. I trust you are satisfied." 

"And you are my pants."

"If you kill me, you'll lose your pants." 

"I am not the Lord Darth Vader - I do not spend my men recklessly. Nor do I take their pants lightly."

"Your devotion to your pants is commendable, Captain." 

"An uncertainty faced by all pants." 

"History is on the move. Those who cannot keep up will be left behind, to watch from a distance. And those who stand in our pants will not watch at all."

"We`ll remind the Rebellion what pants are all about."

"You will sit in a corner and keep your pants shut."

"His use to the Empire is rapidly nearing an end. However, he still has one last role to play in our long-term consolidation of pants." 


End file.
